That we didn’t plan a honeymoon budget but had a setting-up-a-home budget in place must give the idea of the kind of life we started with. We got married on a Sunday and a week later stood at the Sunday bazaar with half a mile long shopping list. Items included the likes of mops, brooms, flour, sugar, jars, bins, buckets.. the works.
UTP was once christened “mushkil aadmi” (difficult man) by a bunch of his friends for finding the most inconvenient and difficult ways of doing even simple things! So yes, keeping true to his nick and convincing me this was indeed the way to go we started on an action packed adventure down a (very) bumpy road! It was a life we very willingly opted for.
(Oh and just for the record, if this is making it sound like the two of us eloped and started a life straight out those Indian soaps.. naaah! our wedding was one of those very proper parental consented, parental financed, blessed-by-the-family types.)
The dude was 23 years of age, barely two years out of grad school and still had a while to make it to the list of “well settled eligible bachelors” by social standards. We were in a hurry it seemed, for everything – for wanting to get married, running a house, managing finances, paying the bills and starting a family. People get married hoping to grow old together.. we? well we figured we wanted to grow up together too :D
I firmly believe there is no fixed recipe for a *happily ever after*, no right age or wrong age to step into practical life; something might work for one but not for another but looking back, both of us know we’d not want anything to change if we get a chance to rewind these 5 years..
Agreed there were huge sacrifices to be made along the way – UTP missed out on his carefree bachelor years, had to reschedule and delay his plans for studying further. I felt cheated out of all the dreams of a filmy blissful life featuring “just the two of us together” as I jumped head on into the endless feed-burp-poop-sleep cycle even before I was done savoring the heady *just married* status! I’d see my peers building careers, pursuing dreams and would think I’m no less capable of going places myself. I’d almost resent not doing justice to the talents and capabilities God gifted me with.
I had no clue that just a few years down the line everything would fall into place and all the sacrifices would seem so worthwhile. We are still quite young and have time to get back to our dreams of studying further, UTP is Mashallah making his move up the corporate structure and I see him going places :) Me, I managed to keep my creative side alive, build on my portfolio and stay in touch with a career path which I can always take up from a freelance WAHM status to a full time job as soon as circumstances permit. I am glad we took up the ever so challenging task of producing and raising babies at an age we are still energetic, patient and young. I am sure it doesn’t get easy with the years. The little one is such a joy to raise and is turning into one of those tiny divas ready to outsmart you at every little opportunity.. As for that honeymoon which never happened; we can always send the kids packing to the grandparents and go while we’re still feeling young at heart and honeymoonish, yeah?!
In the close to 5 years of being together, UTP and I, we've started our lives from scratch not once but twice. The best part in starting from absolutely nothing is one learns to cherish and be thankful even for the littlest of good stuff happening that you never imagined would ever matter this way.
I remember the first winters after we got married, that we got the geyser fixed and functional at our apartment before the baby came along was a cause for celebration! I remember how changing the setting around the bedroom to accommodate a bedroom TV and bedside lamps suddenly made it feel like we were in a whole new world.. I remember one of the first supermarket trips when we acted like we had just stepped out of elementary school.. most of the trolley was loaded with nothing but junk – candies, chocolates, microwave popcorns and Pringles :D
I remember how moving to the UAE seemed like a bitter-sweet opportunity – moving on to something better but leaving behind what we had very lovingly put together bit by bit.. how we started off here with a one-room setup which still felt like the best place on earth that we could call home.. moved on to a bigger and better place to be completely thrilled that it actually had a nice functional kitchen!
We just moved to another new apartment a few months back and I have been on cloud 9 just to see the way the sun filters in through the huge windows into every room! The house is gorgeously bright and sunny Alhamdulillah and I am going crazy with ideas for making sun catchers and placing potted plants and colored glass bottles on the windowsills!
Go ahead, think it’s crazy the way we went ahead and made life difficult for ourselves by not waiting to settle down first but this is who we are – your Mr. & Mrs. Mushkil Aadmi – two adventurers on a journey called life, wanting to brave it all before living it up because life, well life is too short to wait :) is it not?!
