(prayer beads, or japp mala) for what better way to invest time otherwise wasted in counting the minutes and cursing the traffic jams to spend in remembrance of God. And yes we have these bouts of turning all spiritually connected, very regular with prayers and encouraging each other stay in the routine only to land back on square one, pulling the other along the way… sigh, its so easy to be lazy instead… The tasbeeh broke one day and I somehow never found the time to thread it back for him. So the next time I went visiting my parents I saw a pretty looking tasbeeh that somebody had gotten for mom. I told her I was taking it for UTP; she really didn’t need so many around the house. The famous tasbeeh incidentally happened to match the color of his prayer rug – a bonus if you ask a graphic designer who is obsessed about color-coordination for stuff even as mundane as the toothbrushes on the shelf, the soap & towels vs. the bathroom tiles and pots & pans around the house to name a few! (…aw well, another one of those quirks exposed)
I happily got home to give UTP the little present he had been in need of for the longest of times. He seemed delighted alright as I beamed in my self-proclaimed glory of being the best wife on earth who had a sixth sense about exactly what her hubby ever needed in life… the glory wasn’t meant to last long after all; the next day as UTP was unloading the contents of his pockets into the drawer he exclaimed he didn’t use the tasbeeh for it had 98 beads and not 99 (as it technically should).
.. and I thought HUH! Who counts beads on a tasbeeh!! You got a tasbeeh now go ahead get praying dude! No really, would it make a difference to the Almighty if you remembered Him 98 times instead?? Maybe if you struck a spiritual connection by just thinking of HIM once, its worth more than all the 99ers you had been chanting while your mind wandered all over the place…
All this philosophy I decided to keep to myself and simply nodded in response…
Another trip to moms and I picked out another tasbeeh, although not matching his prayer rug but still sparkly and new in its unopened packet (I guess people think my folks have gotten old and need to spend their time in prayers so everybody gives them tasbeehs as presents)
That the cynic in him will end up counting the bead YET AGAIN and that God will test him again by making sure this time the tasbeeh had 100 beads instead are things that left me amazed!
Again, *exasperated eye-roll*…who in the world counts beads in a tasbeeh?
UTP unfortunately abandoned the ever-so-regular habit of praying on his way up and down from work and now that he is blessed enough to drive to work in a shiny new car of his own, the remembrance and tasbeeh scenario doesn’t quite stand a chance!
It took me quite some time to adjust to and comply with UTP's ways of maintaining financial spreadsheets and allowance heads for monthly expenditures and his obsession about keeping written track of any money spent down to the smallest currency denomination having grown up seeing my mom keep all of the home budget allowance in an envelope and every time she took out money for anything, she'd say a silent little prayer that God give barkat (blessing/increase) in this and let it last the month; she had absolute faith it would and strangely it did!
And I sooo know that I can never reach that point of absolute faith myself, its freaky! I like to feel in control and have been in the habit of contriving little vague budgets myself but I do wish UTP would take it a little easy on the skepticism factor that he happens to have in abundance!
So here's what I had been wanting to say to the cynic in you... How I wish you would not wait for the perfect 99 bead tasbeeh to get back to prayers, how I wish you would not wait for the piggy bank to be full before indulging in that little treat you’d been wanting for yourself since forever, how I wish you would not wait for life to be perfect to start living it!
If only you'd understand…
11 comments:
"how I wish you would not wait for life to be perfect to start living it!" :)
On an after-thought..
"..How I wish you would not wait for life to be perfect to quit surviving and start living it instead!"
great post! :)
just yesterday, i was agonozing with a friend about quitting and asking her how much she thought we'd need on a monthly basis, to be able to live comfortably and save something. and she said, you know it's better for you to pray for barakah in what you have rather than an increase what you have.
man, that really blew me away. it's amazing though how much faith our parents had and just how much they left to fate and alhamdolillah, things worked out okay for them, didn't they?
very true,most of the time we wait to adjust things extremely perfect to activate connection with Allah and coming up number of excuses ''cant to be done''..While HE is above all such things and listen us all times at all situations
@kamran - keep wishing heheh...
@mayg - that bad eh? lets give it another thought now...
@mona - mayg's mother's story really inspires me but then my weak faith and practicality of life...bring me back to the same old...paranoia...
@aashely - if only we had stronger faith...
mayg: my hubby's the opposite.. he spends without counting and insists that if we counted, our expenses would be greater than our income coz we loose the barakah by keeping a count on everything.
i find THAT a lil disturbing! *sigh* grass is always greener on the other side of the hill eh!
I don't particularly know what the usefulness of the tasbeeh is; I have noticed that when I am using it (the tasbeeh) the focus seems to be on the number of repetitions.
Whereas, without keeping count, I seem to be able to actually concentrate on the zikr.
Besides, while driving, you can't really use the tasbeeh anyway.
Very true. Life has to be spent as it comes and as best as possible. Spend more if you have more and be thankful, spend less if you have less and be patient. But blind reliance will not bring faith, it will bring suffering. One has to manage, just as the Prophet(SAW) told the sahabi(RA) that do "tawakkul" after fastening the leash.
Asking Allah(SWT)for barkat and being dogmatic about it really helps.
that's such a beautiful thought, mayg! :)
and did i mention, i SO adore ur template! :)
I'd like to second the thought that Kamran picked up, besides the improved version that MayG has presented. :)
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