Not so Braveheart eh?

Yes I confess I do end up getting a little involved in movies, but I get hysterical for the first time ever, not so much because of the movie but because my nerves were frayed, it becomes a bloggable event – no fair!

Ladies and gentlemen, I managed to dig through his blog archives to bring to you the confessions of a man who cries like crazy at movies... also, let's recall who kills all the lizards around the house? And if you're done being entertained with that, let me fetch some more from UTP's chivalry chronicles;

*ahem* I bring to you the story of the day we had a visitor of the feline kind - no ordinary cat this was, think tiger-cub guys.

So, it's just another day in the life of this HUGE tabby cat. It lazily wakes up, arches his back, yawns, stretches a little and yawns some more... Checks himself out in the mirror..

Damn I'm really getting fat! ..no more rat feasts, skimmed milk it is and regular calorie-burning too...

Heads out for his gymnastic workout, only to get so carried away that his daring acrobatic feat concluded in our apartment balcony on the third floor!

Don’t really know how it actually happened but there he was; a HUGE tabby cat, right there in our house. UTP and his younger bro decided the ladies of the house shut themselves in one room for safety's sake while they plot a strategy to chase the cat away.

Strategy 1 – coax the thing out:

"here kitty.." *muah* *muah*

…and the not-so-kitty-sized thing gives them that look..

are you kidding me?

Strategy 2 – "Shoo" the thing out:

This involved complex placement of the furniture around the house to block all routes but one leading to the main door that was indeed left wide open and just short of a red carpet and blinking arrows directing outwards. A few gentle shoos didn’t really work, the aggressive ones worked in the wrong direction! Now who would’ve thought a 2 feet tall cat could've jumped over a 3 feet high sofa to land into the kitchen, right? *eye roll*

Strategy 3 – bring out the ammo:

Having spent a good portion of an hour trying to shoo and coax the creature out, the guys decided it was time to take desperate measures – out came the shoes and slippers. They took aim and fired, one relentless blow after another, only it got the poor thing so scared it froze in a corner baring fangs and hissing this I'm-mad-and-scared hiss. The slippers failed, time to try the hockey sticks and rods- they poked and prodded; the scared thing peed his pants but didn’t budge an inch!

Strategy 4 – mayG to the rescue

Oh you must've figured this was coming! It had been well over an hour.. yes it took me that long to figure it kinda runs in the family- tch.. They make hopeless hunters…

Twelve feet worth of manly mass couldn’t rid us of the intruder (we're talking 2, six feet men here) it was time for the frail little girl to save the day! (Hehe.. sounds good, nahi?)

I stomped out of the room, declared they should've let me do it in the first place when the creature was less enraged, grumbled at the mess around the house and the particular mess that thing had made IN MY KITCHEN yuck!

The mini tiger was so mad by then; it was threatening to pounce at anything that came his way... I entered the kitchen still grumbling, b.i.l. in tow to be met by the fiercest of snarls… WOAH!

Panic struck as soon as I figured they had tried out pretty much everything I would've done to drive it out! Intimidated I stood thinking what could be done next while b.i.l. came up with one smart suggestion after another, no pun intended there, he really would’ve made it big at American Inventor! All this while guess who stood in the hallway pitching in his share of adrenaline from a "safe distance"?

We finally decided it best to somehow tie a string to the cat and drag him out and since it's her idea, mayG gets to do the honors!

Shielding myself with a grill-shelf I pulled off the fridge and armed with a ball of string, I approached the angry trespasser. Two failed attempts of trying to catch his paw in the noose and a third attempt at trying to get it around his neck, I finally managed to string a lasso around his neck.

What took you three seconds to read actually took over twenty-three minutes to happen... the cat was too heavy for me to pull out and so I finally handed over the rest of the string ball to UTP in the other room... who finally got his moment of glory in saving the day!

A mighty yank-and-drag all the way to the door later, the stubborn cat made an exit, the men beamed in their glory of a successful hunt and I proceeded to clear the mess, anti bacterial wipes and all!