Letters to M&M - you are as happy as you choose to be

My girls,

So there is this seemingly barf aww-inducing Brad Pitt quote going viral on social media for a bit, not sure if it will be around by the time you are old enough to get it and feel the fuzzies in your heart so I am going to post it out there for your future selves.

Okay now that you are done aww-ing hear me out loud and clear and yes I am going to be harsh and heartless - kid, It's absolutely NOBODY's business to KEEP you happy. Its entirely your responsibility to BE happy and content - find things to do and people to be with that help you get there but never ever even for a second expect others to "make" you happy.

We women seek validation and fulfillment through our relationships and invest all our hopes for sanity into what the spouse says and does and then wonder why the words nagging and clingy are so often associated with a wife.

And to be fair, its an awful lot of responsibility to burden a mere mortal with! Everybody had good days and bad, everybody makes mistakes and allowing another person or event to control your emotions is a surefire way to invite yourself to fall into an endless pattern of expectation -> disappointment -> heartbreak... rinse.repeat.

I am actively trying to nurture in you the love for reading, some hobbies and interests involving creative expression and planting seeds of spirituality all with the hope that you never find yourself running out of fulfilling things to do by yourself.

May yours be very fulfilling and content marriages without the absurd compulsion that you need your partner to complete an otherwise "incomplete" you!

..can I get an amen?!


Sue said...

Amen(ish). I.e. agree but with reservations.

mayG said...

lets hear the reservations susie!

rabiamh said...

Amen.. I totally agree with u MayG ... my mom always taught us that happiness is within ourselves and no one i mean No One can make us happy or complete for that matter if we aren't happy within n with ourselves �� Cheers To gurl Power !

Sue said...

In theory only we can make ourselves happy. In practice if we live with people who are pessimistic or go out of their way to make our lives difficult this happiness becomes a rather abstract concept.

So, yes, we also need to find somebody who makes us happy. V doesn't complete me and he is not the sole repository or reason for my happiness, but if he did not make me happy I do not think we should stay together. Likewise, many things other than I make him happy but most of all he is content knowing that after everything else is over he comes home to me; if he did not have this source of happiness, our marriage would have much less meaning.

Farooq said...

I don't like your blogs MayG, they are too personal, and when you make them public, you make yourself sound like a celebrity.